He laughs so hard he pees his pants…

Posted on January 27, 2011

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Dear Fax Machine,

A 7-page document cost me 5 Euro just to send here in Rome! I still don’t even quite understand what the hell that I signed but T helped me to translate and sent me down the street to have it faxed. You can walk in to many shops and Tabaccherias (place to buy cigs etc) and they will fax documents out for you. This particular Tabaccheria had such a blend of things it was strange to me. To start there were Tarot cards for sale, games, toys, gum, candy, cards, wrapping paper, smoking pips, pens, and even harmonicas and Hello Kitty. Lottery tickets and two slot machines lined the back wall. Plenty to look at while I waited for my 7-page fax to complete. Basically, my family sent me a package and there was food in it and Italy is very particular about the food that imports/exports and so far the package has been in Customs since LAST thursday!  5 Euros was expensive for one fax. I stopped for the daily bottle of Latte (milk) on the way back to the house for the boys. Latte is cheap. Faxing is not! These boys go through so much milk here at this house it is something to witness. Every morning and night Matteo has latte and biscotti in a “bottle” that is warmed up. Tommaso has cereal every morning with at least a cup of milk then wastes about 1/2 cup down the drain. Sometimes for the afternoon snack (merenda) they will have warmed milk and cake or cookies. Maybe they don’t go through as much milk as I think since every morning and some afternoons it is wasted. Good thing the bottle is about 1 Euro. Cheap. or in Italian: economico. Such a literal translation right?

Today via Skype I told my sister a little more about my “date” and she was shocked that Italian movies were like the movies at home. A new movie with Italian actors and humour. She asked me if they were in black and white and she was NOT kidding! She really makes me laugh so much!!! Note to Kate: Foreign Films do not = strictly black and white! I forgot to mention that  there was a Facebook scene in the Movie! Once the main character learned the name of the chick in the movie he went on to Facebook to find her (Facebook stalking!) He looked her up ALL night! He only knew her first name so he searched for the right girl ALL night til the morning. When he actually found her his computer crashed. Of course it did. When she looked him up he pasted his face to this super tan muscle man’s body for his profile picture! Serious laughs from me and the entire audience! I cannot wait to watch the film again once I learn the language more. I really enjoyed it even though I didn’t understand every word!

Matteo and I were playing with his Legos today and building a huge “Citta” (city) and I found a cute little Lego character that looked like me and found a little Lego cellulare that she could hold in her hand! It really reminded me of what I look like with my giant “walkie-talkie!” Nokia. First Nokia ever made in Italy! I think it is awesome that I even have a phone but it is seriously HUGE! Here is me and my phone in Roma…

Matteo is still in the potty-training stage so I have to make him go to the bathroom even when he says no. I try really hard to make sure that he goes about every hour or I at least ask him. Yet almost everyday he has a little accident. I sometimes think that it is my fault that we laugh so much together!! I think that I cause him to pee his pants when we are doing silly stuff and laughing our asses off. We have this game with the small cars that we set up a “jump” and launch them into the hallway or corner of the room. When it is a good one we say “good one!”, if it is ok we say, “cosi, cosi” with a single hand gesture showing mid-way, if it is not good at all we say “awww BAD” with a loud fart sound and two thumbs down! He thinks this is the funniest thing in the world right now!! When the car doesn’t hit the jump we say,”ohhh missed!!” and he also thinks this is very funny and falls over laughing. At least he is speaking more english with me I am not sure if this is the best game but being creative for boys that like to spit and make loud noises with their little mouths…what can I do? I also ask him in Italian what each characters name is and he comes up with some really crazy long names and I then take my turn laughing my ass off when he makes me repeat these names! I have no idea what he is saying or if the names are real words at all but we have a good time sitting on the floor everyday making up games. It is even better when he doesn’t have any accidents.

Hopefully going out to dinner tomorrow again at Zeus Ristorante! If I can get away for the night I want to go and see him. I kind of sort of left my umbrella in his car by “mistake”…I knew I would see him again no matter what but yes I thought of it as collateral. guaranteed. Yes, I did that. I laugh when guys do things like that so I went ahead and did it.

Nancie Pants

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Posted in: When in Rome