Maybe you could use some scotch…

Posted on February 3, 2011

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Dear Italian Hand Gestures,

Today in class we had a twenty-minute conversation strictly about speaking with your hands! There are so many important things to understand and emphasize when words are just not enough OR words are just not needed. Here are a few examples:  the word ‘Madonna’ means ‘Mother of God’ in English. Disbelief and exasperation are the emotions expressed with this gesture. Both the hands are folded together; the gesture signifies that a person is making a desperate appeal. “Non mi Frega” means “I don’t give a damn” in English. It is used to indicate that one doesn’t care much about anything. To perform this gesture, one has to swipe his hand from under the chin in the forward direction. Most of us are familiar with this gesture. To signal that someone is gay you slyly pull on your earlobe and nod your head towards supposed gay person.  “Silenzio!” This is made by putting your index finger to your lips, the universal gesture of “silence.” However, successfully explaining why I want silence is another story. This proves that I still have to learn Italian and think Italian. There are many more but they are a little more difficult to explain. I hope to share this image I found..hands. The first image is  the most common since it can used in many ways. Middle finger? Same in every world.

Last night I had “Mickey” (I changed his name. For those of you that know about Mickey Avalon…”call me Mr. Right) come and pick me up so that we could meet some of his friends for another adventure at the Cinema. He texted me that he would come at 21:00. At 21:37 I texted him “dove sei…?” (where are you?) and he wrote me back “In 15 min I’m at U!” His way of using English words is the best. Sometimes he is very serious and proper with his words but other times he is telling me that his brakes are f*ck*d and traffic is schifo! Which is best translated as “it sucks/disgusting/terrible..etc.” If a drink or caffe is bad you would use this word to describe it. Instead of saying that he is thinking of something he will say that it is “passing his mind.” We were late he says because of me yet he didn’t even show up until 10 minutes to 22:00! The arguing starts early! When we finally find parking and walk to the Cinema and the last film choice is The Green Hornet. In 3D. Non mi piace 3D. 3D American movie with Italian dubbed over was a true headache for the eyes and brain! I prefer 2D and original language thank you very much! Since I remembered this preview from months ago I knew the storyline enough to understand better and sometimes would try to read lips and understand the silenced English. I still had a good time and enjoyed half a bucket of popcorn. I cannot complain since after the movie we all went for drinks. And Nutella crepes with pistachio. And tequila. And wine from Sardegna. And limon sorbetto. Mickey orders our drinks and food and tells the waiter (cameriere) to put the crepes in front of me. His amore. Yes, he calls me that. I am unsure to be flattered or prepare myself for a restraining order. I am joking! It is really sweet and I have no reason to run. Yet. The crepes arrive and they are bellisimo and I feel guilty just looking at them. In this moment he sees this hesitance and tells me that I must eat and get fat! “This will make you fat…here open.” As he airplanes me a gorgeous bite I roll my eyes. Nutella is probably the best creation know to woman. I ask him why he is trying to “make me fat” and he tells me that he is kidding and that it’s not true. Falso! Liar! (Bugiardo!!) We say cin-cin and clink our overly salted tequila shots with his friend. A plate of lemon slices are served with the shots. I like tequila solo. No lime OR lemons. Senza sale. (without salt). Here is proof of the beauty of these crepes…

After we share the desserts and drinks we decide to call it a night. Last call at 2am where we were. As we walked back to the car we passed by a really fancy restaurant and Mickey told me that he used to work there a few years ago. We stop and look at the display of the view that overlooks the river and all of Trestevre. It is “very pretty” I tell him and continue to walk with him. He stops me and looks me dead center in the eyes and corrects me. “It is not pretty. Pretty is nothing. It is VERY BEAUTFIL. Not Pretty…ok!?” “bellisisisisisimo?” I respond in exaggeration. He laughs and agrees and we press on. I like the way that not only him, but many people say that something is “special” or “nothing special” to describe food and the way something tastes. The other day T and I were eating some mandarins and she shrugged and said they were “nothing special.” Sono d’ accordo. (I agree) When something is really tasty, lovely or clever another hand gesture is something like a “cheek screw” where you poke your cheek with your index finger and twist it. Matteo did this today while eating a tortilla I heated up for him. More on tortillas in Rome soon…

I have many plans for this weekend and am looking forward to tempo libero (free time)! I pulled out my trusty map that I carry in my purse and have T show me where to go this weekend and where to find somewhere new to hang out. I am seeking out an American Pub for Sunday because I am never into football but it will be SUPER BOWL. If I can find it I am going to the pub to enjoy myself with all the beer-gutted Americanos and females like me that don’t really care about football but watch half-time. There must be (American) football lovers in Rome. I know that they are hiding somewhere and I will find them! T notices that I have put some use to my map and it is ripped in a few places from the folds. When it is opened it is probably 3 feet by 3 feet. She tells me, “maybe you could use some scotch?” Since we just finished dinner I thought for one minute that she was offering me a drink! Then I realized that she meant  TAPE! Scotch Tape…ahhhhhhh. Why is it called scotch tape by the way?

Some packages arrived for me today! Finally! So excited to have gifts and Nano Greens…mille grazie family!! Thanks to all that contributed to this package. You know who you are!! Kisses for you all xoxox! I have been waiting on a pair of my Pumas to get here and when I opened the box I saw my absolute LEAST favorite Nikes that I own. Very clean and white with a blue Nike swoosh. I strictly wore these at the country club I worked at because the blue matched my uniform…I really didn’t care that much since all the other good stuff that came! So hilarious that they sent me beans, tortillas, taco seasoning, books, movies, b-day cards (that I am waiting to open before bed..just in case they are too emotional for me) hand-made Rosary beads (belisisisisisisiisisisisimo!!!) another pair of pajama pants, and most important: a big bottle of Rescue Remedy! Thanks again family and Ma don’t worry about the shoes I will just buy something new like you suggested. I will exercise in those shoes as the weather warms up and get them dirty playing soccer with the boys. I am happy to have shoes that I won’t “baby” and that can get dirty. Probably best thing sent in actuality since my sacred hot pink and super clean white Pumas that I expected don’t even go near dirt. I love when things work out for the better. Nothing is ever that bad and being surprised is the best gift. You cannot put a price on a true present because real gifts are realizations of something that you feel; not something that is purchased and gift wrapped. Or shipped half-way across the world for a hefty price. Shout out to the Wiley family. Fedex is fast! Customs is not…Food from America do not pass customs, do not pass go, collect 40 Euros! It costs me 40 Euros for these packages but it is what it is.

After I read my B-day cards I might use some scotch…

Nancie aka Mrs. Right

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Posted in: When in Rome