The North Pole of Rome and Nutella Creepers

Posted on March 6, 2011

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Dear Sushi in Rome,

I will give sushi another chance but never again will I return to a place called Miyabi 2! I cannot believe that there are 2 of these places?! There must be a Miyabi 1 somewhere but I will never know since I didn’t enjoy anything except the company I had during this dinner fiasco. Texa, Mika and I met up to find sushi and go for drinks. I left my house about 6:30 to meet the girls at Piazza del Popolo. I arrived finally around 7:45. There was a “show” there so I passed time by watching something like a horse show? Not sure how to explain the Carnivale event at this particular piazza. I finally saw Texa walking towards me with her shiny new snake-skin print rain boots! It was about 8:10. We were now both waiting on Mika and decided to walk towards her and meet in the middle. Twenty-minutes later we find her and catch the dirty metro to find Zen sushi on the other side of Rome. Around 9 we find the Zen Sushi place but it is packed and we did not have a reservation! No grazie, andiamo! (lets go!) We all craved sushi so Mika led us back across town to Trastevere for an alternative sushi place. We boarded the dirty tram and then took a bus. Everything takes forever! We are waiting at the back of the bus at the main bus station. All the doors were open and we talked quietly and anxiously about how hungry we were. It was 9:30 when I noticed a man near our door pacing with an umbrella. I try not to make eye contact with him since he appears kind of crazy. This was NO ANGEL on the bus! He is now blocking the door and waving to us, not with his hand either! Texa and I were completely traumatized when we finally looked to him and he had his pants down!!! What the!?! There are some seriously sick people in this world. Shocked and speechless we let Mika know that she was lucky to miss the pervert creeper. I was not that hungry after that disgusting creep show and now I desperately needed alcohol.  All three of us were getting really tired and impatient traveling to another place to eat. After we got off the bus we walked for another twenty minutes or so. Mika and I just wanted to drink! I was about to cave and “drink” my dinner but we found the sushi joint around 10. Texa didn’t even care to read the menu she told us that “we are eating here!” Va bene. I really just had to find the bathroom! It was now after 10 and we still had not had anything to eat and have had to pee since 7:30! Service takes a long time no matter where we eat but this place was something else. It was also very busy and none of the patrons seemed happy. Bad sign. We are seated in the back in a tiny room that seats maybe thirty. Our server shows us to our table and gives us 2 all you can eat menus. At the other tables there are 2 other menus. Why didn’t we get those menus too? We sit without the waiter for about 15  minutes and get very annoyed. It has been nearly twenty minutes since we walked in and we still didn’t have drinks or menus? He returns and takes our drink order. Sake and coca-cola. He brings those maybe 6 minutes later but with out the menus! We ask another server for the alternative menus and she hands us only one. Really? Mika and I slam the hot sake and complain some more. The sake tasted like old water with a splash of vodka. Not awesome. After we pass around the menu for another 10 minutes he finally returns. After he brought our sake he left his pad of paper at our table. I was tempted to write out our order for him since I could tell that he was going to mess it up since our first glance at him. We decide to “share” a sushi boat for 32 euros plus some edamame and sea weed salad with crab. We take a few times to relay this to our waiter. Asking him over and over how many pieces actually come with it and can we NOT have octopus. It is already pre-made. Ew. Fantastic. We order a bottle of prosecco to split as well. He walks away without writing our order and we all shake our heads at each other waiting for disaster. Maybe the sake was working because us girls started acting really silly and taking funny pictures with my camera.

Lesson 44- How to make a mustache using a pen and your lips! Mika was too funny trying to master this and had no success since she says that her “nose is too high!” This girl makes me seriously laugh. We realize that it is after 10:30 and we still have not eaten! We joke that we have been to the “North Pole” of Rome and around the entire city and landed on this terrible destination for what reason? The pre-made ugly sushi boat came before the edamame AND the champagne! Some other server brought our boat and then it took another 5-7 minutes to have some soy sauce brought to us! Hands down the WORST sushi experience in my life. The bubbly came and he opened it and placed the bottle on the table and walked away. What the hell? Pour it if you open it. I wonder if this is his first night working. The sushi is not even a little bit good. Raw crawfish with beady eyes ruins my appetite so I have a few pieces of salmon and most of the bottle. The salad never came. Texa ordered another item since we were all still hungry. That never came either. When we could not take it anymore we got up to leave and pay. I hate when dishes are left at the table that are not being used or finished. The empty sake sat at the head of the table the entire hour and a half of this wreck of dinner. Take it away! The table next to us was having just as bad an experience and one guy asked us what we had been doing this night, in Italian. We all are still learning. We were all wrong what he asked or said to us. I thought he told us to have a good night. Texa thought he asked us what we were going to do next. Mika ignored him and laughed at me when I told him to have a good night too. That is not what he said. Later in the night when we met up with Mickey he told us that he had asked what we were doing before. (Not have a good night OR where you going! Ooops! Hahah so glad that he is there to interpret when we ask him!) 56 euro later we almost break the sliding door on our way out back to the street. Get us the hell out of there and as far away as possible!!!

Mika must head home so we kiss her goodbye and she tells us to enjoy our crepes. Texa and I were still hungry and had Nutella crepes on our brains and could not let it go. We made the decision to go half way back to the “North Pole” of Rome and go to a place that has really good crepes no matter what time a day or night. It is on the same street as Mickey’s restaurant so it was perfect for a late drink and dessert and at least we could be closer to him so he could find us once he finished his shift. I text him to tell him where we are and my phone tried to auto text “creeper” for “crepes”!!! 3 minutes of laughter and one Godmother cocktail later my phone rang. It was him. He didn’t get my message but he was finished. He had to take someone home then he would be right there to meet us. It is around 12:30am by now. Perfect. We pay for our drinks and Nutella creepers and go outside for a smoke break. The table in the very front is open so we sneak in to take it over. Right as we are about to light a cigarette Mickey strolls up and smiles and greets us. For living in Rome he has impeccable timing. He joins us at our table and a kid with a huge bouquet of red roses starts harassing us to buy some for “his girlfriends.” Mickey buys two so that the guy will leave us alone.  He lets me pick “the best” one and we thank him. I explain that the “best ones” are the buds that are small and tight. It is best to have those since they will last longer once you cut it and place it in water. Since the rose has not yet opened up it is better to choose these opposed to roses that are full and already open. Then Mickey leans across the table to give me a “you are welcome” kiss and somehow knocks over my entire Godmother. Another 3 minutes of laughter and I am presented with another Godmother cocktail. After the second round of drinks and smokes it is 1:30 in the morning and we decide to call it a night. Texa starts to really not feel well and is thankful that we are taking her home. I didn’t eat any tuna or shrimp so we agree that she shouldn’t have either! Another long and interesting Saturday evening has come and gone. At dinner I told S and T about my night and the joke about being to the North Pole of Rome. S explains to me that Piazza del Popolo IS considered the North entry to Rome and back in the day that was truly the most important route to the North! Before the age of railroads, Piazza del Popolo (the People’s Square) was the travelers first view upon arrival to Rome. A joke turned into a little history lesson! The piazza has been here since about 1816 and one of the “twin” churches Santa Maria  del Popolo has been there since 1099! The history in this beautiful Eternal City blows me away.

Tomorrow is Monday and both boys will go to school. Finally!!! The house will be to myself in the morning. If the sun shines I will head to the park for some stinkin’ fresh air and a long run. Two days from now will mark the 3 months since I left the United States…doesn’t seem possible already. 1/3 of my life in Rome down and 2/3 to go!

Jessica

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Posted in: When in Rome