Lost: Cellphone and Mind. If Found Please Call The House!

Posted on April 7, 2011


Dear Telefonino,

My long-lost, shiny, heavy, gigantic, brown, first Nokia-ever-made cell phone with 6 numbers saved. I wake up and even though my head is pounding and dehydration is at its fullest, my first thought is of my phone. I left it in Mickey’s car yesterday and now I must figure out how to get it back. I don’t know his number in my head. Realizing that I slept through the morning without hearing the family getting ready for their day is interesting. I must have serious hangover since nothing woke me until 9:30 in the morning. Moving slowly I decide to at least let some air in my room, I hope that it doesn’t smell like a liquor cabinet! I lay back in bed after I downed as much water as I could that was in the bottle near my bed. Laying down I try to organize a plan to get my phone back. I remember that I wrote his number down on a tiny slip of paper. Good. I do have his number at least. I know that he is working this morning so I consider going to his work around noon. I can’t rest easy knowing that I should call him so I get the home phone and dial his number. Some chick answers and I ask for him. She tells me I have the wrong number and is clearly upset with me. I dial again, maybe I am still drunk and didn’t put the correct number. Same voice just a few notches more annoyed with me now. I tell her that I am sorry and she cuts me off. I believe that she cussed a little so I just hung up. Did I really write his number wrong? I let myself sleep for another hour then woke up to the idea to just call the restaurant. I turn on my computer and there is no internet. Of course! Annoyed as the person I called twice I huff at the blank screen telling me there is no connection. Cazzo. I go to the kitchen and drink my gay iced tea that I made the day before. I found finocchio tea and made about a liter of it to keep in the fridge. What to do!? How? Why? When? Ughghgh….

A cool shower calms me down and makes me clean again. I put on jeans and march into the parents room to see whats wrong with the connection. The internet is not flashing any signal that it is on. Pulling on the cord I follow it to make sure that it is plugged in the wall. It is but I unplug it and force it back in and hope that works. I go back to my room and try once more. After 5 tries it works! I look up his work and the only number is a God damn Skype number. I dial it anyway and get a “free message” that tells me that this number is only for Skype. In Italian it is Skype-eee. That is how they pronounce it. I laugh but not enough to solve the problem at hand. I still have no number to call him at. I decide to email Texa and ask her for his number, just in case I really had a number off. She writes me back in less than an hour with the same number but with 00 at the start. I dial the number and can’t wait for a ring! Cazzo! Another “free message” this time this one informs me that the number is “long-distance.” Really?! I know that the house phone is used only to call other land lines and local numbers but this is ridiculous. It is near 3pm now and I must meet nana to get the boys. I worry that my headache will get worse once I am with the kids. I search the house for some aspirin and find one. Strange, it is like a pill as big as a 50 cent piece. I look closer at the packaging and see that it’s to be placed in water. After I chug the seltzer sparkler I go down and wait for her in our usual spot and she does not show. I worry and realized that T probably texted me and I didn’t get it. I run upstairs to call her from the house phone. Since her number is programmed in the phone I didn’t have to write hers down on a scrap of paper. She tells me that she did send me a message to go directly to the school. I hang up after telling her about my phone and run out the door. Hungover, tired, cranky and worried about my phone I walk uphill still panicked. Once I find nana she is taking in some sun on some steps. It is 3:45 and she tells me to go and get Matteo. I thought that she would since she was already there. She had her little poodle so that is probably why. I am sure that dogs are not allowed inside. This little pup is super cute and he just got groomed so he was fresh and poofed out. I was unsure what kind of dog he was since he was always a mass of curls and blonde fro. Now that he was groomed like a real poodle I realized his breed. Matteo shows me something that he made in class about spring time. It is a colorful cloud with a typed poem about “primavera” (spring) I can see that he has cut this himself and it looks fantastic. “Bravo!” I tell him and smile. Once we round the children up and get kicked out by the nun we pile into the car. The cute dog is breathing heavy too close to my shoulder and it smells awful. Not only hungover but sensitive to smell. My “womans day” is coming this weekend so I am also very irritable and easily in a bad mood. The drive seems like eternity and I believe that walking is indeed faster since there are many one ways and too many lights. We pull into a nice parking spot across the way from home. Nana lives across the way and she told me to wait in the car with the boys while she ran upstairs to get them a snack for home. I am happy that she wants to prepare them something since I had no energy to convince them to eat. Soon as she is out of sight Tommaso jumps out to follow her. I tell him not to go but he doesn’t listen. I tell Matteo to wait with me but he tells me no and runs after his brother. Fine. I will wait alone for no reason. I close my eyes and enjoy she shade and sounds of the busy streets of Rome. They come back and nana laughs at me when she sees me curled up with my head down and my eyes closed. I get out and help gather the boys jackets and backpacks.

Once inside she makes Matteo a panino and he refused. I offer him  a yogurt and he complies. I tell him that he can’t just have cocoa puffs and yogurt that he has to have an apple too. He agrees and asks me about finishing the Lego super ninja castle we have been working on for two days. “After me finish eating. Yes.” I tell him in both English and Italian until he says it back to me in English. Suddenly, I remember that I have a business card from Mickey’s work! I do have the number! I run to find it and called Zeus before I finished my yogurt and fruit. Someone finally answers and I ask for him. He is not there but will return at 19:00. Right now it is only 16:43. At least I have the number. I finish eating and realize that I am truly in a foul mood. Moments pass and I realize that I have to get Tommaso to basket ball practice! I told Matteo that we would finish the Legos but then I had to leave! Oops. I have never seen him so pissed at me! He threw a cup of colored pencils, stomped and blocked the door while trying to kick me. He wanted me to stay home and play with him and make nana go but that was not possible. It is a difficult walk and she is not able to. He cried and we snuck out while almost being slammed in the door. I feel bad but Tommaso is skipping away happily. He knows how jealous Matteo gets and now has that power over him when he gets me to himself. I enjoy my book and watch a little of the practice. It is over too soon but I look forward to being home again to try to call the restaurant. I try again and the director answers. I ask for him and he tells me that he is not there yet but should be very soon. It is 19:30. When he realized that it was me he began speaking to me in English, which helped since I had to explain the situation to him. I ask him to give him the message and tell him that he can call me on the house phone. I ask nana for the number and she struggles and tries to remember it. I stumble saying the numbers to him, in Italian, and hope for the best. I don’t think that he wrote it down right after all the confusion. Or maybe he didn’t give him the message yet? I know that it is super busy lately so maybe that is what is causing this delay.  Hmmm..it is 22:30 and I know that he won’t try the house (if he even has the number or message) so perhaps I will try him again at midnight, when it closes. If not I will not get my phone until tomorrow night. Late. I cannot wait that long. I am trying to make plans with Francesca to go to Florence and her number is in there. Tomorrow I need to know that plans for the boys. They have judo after school and we don’t get home until after 7. Damn limoncello. If I wasn’t drinking I would have put my phone away and double checked my purse before I got out the car. I guess things don’t change much when I am 6,000 miles away from home. I lost my phone in Rome. At least I know where it is….where I hope that it is….under the passenger seat in his green car.


Posted in: When in Rome