The Answer is “NO”

Posted on April 19, 2011

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Dear Lily Allen,

When I woke up and turned the TV and a Lily Allen song that I normally REALLY like was on. This morning it just made me mad! The song is called “F you.” I think it is one of her best songs and I like that entire album but today was not the time that I wanted to hear this. Ughhh. I like that in Rome there is no censoring of lyrics and the radio doesn’t mind all the profanity. The first time that I heard this song here in Rome was in his car. It was the first time that I heard the “F” word on the radio and was shocked! He just laughed and told me it was normal since Italians don’t know or understand what they are hearing since most don’t speak English. I have never seen the video until today and hearing it just made me more angry that I have not spoken to him. Still.”F you, F you very, very much…’cause your words don’t translate and its gettin’ quite late so please don’t stay in touch….” She sings to me while I cross my arms and frown at the TV. F you very, very much! Great, great morning. Buon Giorno…I cannot help but agree with the lyrics…

I waited until 12:30 then left the house to pick up Matteo. Today I was going to feed him at home; no more pizza mess in public. It was a nice clear day so I didn’t want to take the dirty bus. I didn’t really ask him what he wanted just made him turn left with me instead of right towards to bus. When he asked why I told him that I didn’t have a ticket for the bus. He nodded and let me hold his hand for most of the walk. Yesterday, we touched and commented on each car on the walk but today I switched to the other side of the street so we wouldn’t have to do that once more. Every few steps he would want to walk on the outside of the sidewalk but I refused to let him. When you walk with a child or if you are a man with a woman you protect them from the street. This is just life! This is how people walk with someone they care for. And when you sneeze? They say “salute!” or “bless you!”

Once we are back home I help him get Harry Potter started, again! This is his favorite movie of the week I suppose so I let him. It is a long movie and I didn’t care to watch it again so I let him get comfortable on the couch and waited on him when he wanted something. I kept to myself and did a little work out, made a nice lunch for me and messed around on my laptop. About 2:45 nana came over to bring some fruit and a bright, too detailed plastic table-cloth. It was colorful with every type of fruit in the world all clustered together and life-sized. I don’t know if I loved it or hated it but she made me move my computer, cords, and water just to try it on the table. I let her take over and realized that she came over to check on us and to pick us up to take us to school to get Tommaso. I made them boys some turkey and tomato panini, packed two banana, some chocolate and water. Little did I know that nana also made them turkey panini. Sometimes we don’t communicate at all I swear. She changes Matteo’s clothes and feeds him a pear while I get myself back in my jeans and change into converse. I can already tell that he doesn’t want to leave and that he wants to take his scooter with him to judo. Never going to happen! I stopped being so “nice” and got used to telling them “no.” They are not that big so when they argue I can just pick them up and make them do what I say. I have only got kicked once and swung on twice so it isn’t too bad a method. Nana and Matteo argue over the scooter and he blocks the front door telling us that he is taking it with him or not going. I tell him that we are going to be late and we need to leave in both English and Italian so he knows that I am serious. I realize now that the reason nana let me handle him is because she wanted me to take a punch if he was going to get angry. So I did. I yanked the scooter from him and pushed him threw the open door and told him “sorry, we have to go.” He was pretty mad at me until we got outside and he took my hand to cross the street like nothing. Moments before he yelled and made mean faces at me just for taking the stairs with him instead of the elevator! Kids are crazy but entertaining. Nana told us to wait for her across the street while she found her car. I could tell that she “lost” it and didn’t know where she parked. I flashed back on a funny magnet I got for my parents a few years ago. It is a picture of an old lady and man and the quote reads, “At our age “gettin’ lucky” is finding the damn car!” or something along those line. Maybe it is true after 60? Sorry mom and dad you are not that old yet at all!!

Matteo insists on coming with me to get Tommaso from school so nana and I agree to let him out of the car. Tommaso was waiting for me and was with the other 2 kids whose guardian had not arrived yet. I was never so late for him! Damn scooter fight…He didn’t care and we all three hurried to the car to make it to judo. Tommaso begged me for “5 minutes!” of playtime but I told him my new favorite word, “no.” I also tell him that it isn’t possible and we have to get to judo but tomorrow might be better. He stomps and pleads in both English and Italian but I cannot budge. I offer to carry his backpack since he is acting like it weighs 100 pounds during his mini tantrum and whine fest. They pile in the back and I make them sit right so I can seatbelt them in. Matteo gives me a moderate back massage on the way to judo. By this I mean that he kicks my seat, mostly lower back, and pushes it with his fists during arguments with his brother or nana. I try to stay calm about it but sometimes I just want to take his shoes off and throw them out the window. This “massage chair” reminds me of the really new chairs at those nail shops where no matter what button you press it is always stuck on “shiatsu” and you are trying to look comfortable while the chair shakes you like a dirty martini in a metal shaker! It is the worst and you ladies know what I am talking about. All you wanted was a nice pedicure…not to get motion sickness while trying to read the old People or US Weekly since they are always months behind. Man, I miss pedicures, even in the lousy chairs! I won’t miss the “shiatsu” 5-year-old masseuse in the car. 

Tomorrow is the last day of school before Easter break for the boys. Since I don’t have to pick Matteo up early I am going to the Vatican right at 9 am when it opens. Might as well since my freedom will be on lock for the following two days since they are not in school. T didn’t say anything about her “break” for Easter so I assume it will be me and the boys trying to find something to do to entertain ourselves in between indoor soccer, stickers and Tom & Jerry. I can only HOPE for Tom & Jerry….

Lex

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Posted in: When in Rome