A Little Lettuce Won’t Kill You…

Posted on June 14, 2011


Dear Chase,

The chase. Not after a new guy but after Tommaso. He made me chase him twice today at school. I knew that it was going to be a struggle to get him to leave school and go to Judo but I didn’t know that he would make me literally chase him! The first time I caught up to him I took the ball he had and returned it to the owner. He ran farther away from the door because of this so again I had to chase him out of the doors and try to trick him into leaving. Then outside the car he dilly-dallyed (unsure of spelling but you know what I am saying!) he did everything near the car but refused to get in. Nana and Matteo were already waiting and getting impatient. Once I yelled for him to get in the car nana took matters into her own hands and got out the car to force him into the backseat. Complete with a smack to his bottom for not listening to me! I know that nana always has my back. We were extremely late for Judo! I offered Tommaso a panino that had a tiny bit of lettuce on it and he flipped out telling me it was “schifoso!” (disgusting!) so I scratched the lettuce away and threw it out the window. I was in the backseat with Tommaso because somehow Matteo called shotgun on me yet again. Tommaso found one tiny green flick of lettuce and exploded again! Geez a little lettuce won’t kill you.

Once we parked and were walking in Matteo’s class was heading outside for some reason. The master told us to come out soon as he was changed and ready to go. I have never taken either one of them outside for lessons so I had no idea where to go. Together the four of us went back outside and circled trying to ask where to go with no success. There were huge thunder clouds rolling in so we knew that the outside class wouldn’t last long and that they would have to take it inside. While we stumbled around Matteo asked, “dove cazzo sono!?” Which is a terrible thing for a kid to say! Nana threw her own hand over her mouth, either to stop from laughing or contain her true shock at his words. He yelled, “where the fuck are they!?!” I turned and laughed to the wall and kept my pace ahead of them. It is one thing when a kid cusses but quite another when they use the bad words correctly! This is one of those things that I cannot forget! So funny but not really.

Soon the thunder began to roar and rain exploded all around us. We ran inside and eventually the rest of the class came rushing in. The class was unusually small but they continued inside. Tommaso’s class was empty as well. He never wants to participate but since he moved up a class (to a yellow belt) he seems a fraction more excited. I helped tie his belt and put his sandals on. They were actually Matteo’s sandals that have been missing in action for two weeks! Where the hell did they come from? Nana told me that she found them and Tommaso’s were broken so she threw them away right then! Va bene. I then helped Matteo get dressed and he threw a tiny fit about putting his dirty shorts on. He had a minor accident (good thing for the extra underwear kind of accident) but there wasn’t another pair of shorts so what do we do? Nana made him put them on and then he played with the only other kid near his age that was in attendance today. I read a few magazines (more like looked at the pictures) and became bored very easily. I was hungry and on our unsuccessful walk looking for the outside class I found a tiny bar (coffee shop not booze joint) and wanted to head back over there for a snack. It was raining really hard so there was no way that I was going to risk soaking my shoes and jeans without an umbrella. I waited for it to clear up and found a tramezzino, which is a half thin sandwich on sliced white bread. This cheap (1,50) was with a slice of cooked ham and provolone cheese. Cheap and fulfilling for the moment. I still wanted something crunchy so I stopped at the vending machine for something else. I broke my 5 so I had change. Earlier I scrounged 50 cents to give to nana since she forgot her wallet so I was glad to have change again. I bought some “Fonzies” which I have wanted to try since there are so many strange commercials about them. They are NOT that good at all. They are like a weak version of cheese puffs. I had a few then handed them over to Matteo, who was happy to have them. Soon after licked the bag clean he told me that he wanted another treat and I told him that it was not going to happen since that was the end of my change. He came over to me and attempted to whisper in my ear (I don’t think that kids quite understand what whispering is until they are much older) and spit Fonzie crumbs into my hair. Awesome. And I actually washed my hair this day. Soon Tommaso was dismissed from class and when he saw his little brother with an empty Fonzie bag he instantly wanted a snack from the vending machine! Nana had change in her car so we rushed to the car to get some. She handed Tommaso the money and told me that she would pick us up in the front. I didn’t know how to tell her that there was a vending machine about thirty feet away so I just let her drive off while we went to the other vending machine. Tommaso was stuck on the Fonzies and Matteo wanted some crackers. Out of every thing chocolate and all they wanted something salty. These kids always surprise me.

By the time that we emptied the car and found our way upstairs T opened the door for us with her old school sweet apron to greet us. She had made tomatoes stuffed with rice that were baking in the oven on a bed of potatoes. I helped set the table and slice some fresh mozzarella. I poured myself a glass of wine without hesitation when the kids started yelling and screaming at their nana and mother for trying to get them to table and to shut down the TV! Before dinner T asked me to try to wash their hair in the bath while she took as shower in my bathroom and Tommaso yelled so loud I thought the glass shower door would shatter! They sure did plenty of screaming, yelling and crying today. My head is sore and tired from the loudness they created today. They don’t always yell but it is unforgettable when they do. When Matteo threw himself on the marble floor because he didn’t want to eat I really thought that he was going to go to bed without dinner. He was so upset! I know that he is just tired but he had real tears and was shaking. Tommaso sat by me and ate quietly. Maybe he was just hungry too. Nana convinced Matteo to sit at the table and watch a movie so she fed him while he sleepily transfixed himself to the tiny DVD player. He ate the entire plate in front of him while telling nana that he didn’t want each bite but kept eating anyways. These kids are tired that is the bottom line. School is out soon and they are getting antsy. I know that I am getting eager about summer. That is for sure!


Posted in: When in Rome