A Hard Ass with a Soft Side & the Last Straw…

Posted on June 22, 2011


Dear Impostore,

That is right. Sounds similar in English but I shared the word, “cheater” with Tommaso today. Impostor! After another full morning of him cheating at all the games I introduced him. We were playing indoor bowling (not that serious of a game and not that easy to cheat in the first place) when he insisted that he wanted another turn since the pins were placed “too far apart” so it “didn’t count!” Always something. I took down the “Bible” of the house which is a HUGE Italian/English dictionary and had him come over and read the translation of “cheater” into Italian. He got really defensive and started chanting something at me…(I never can remember the words but it’s basically saying that I am wrong and bad!) Matteo laughed and laughed which made Tommaso more mad but all I could do was tell him that it was ok and he still let me hug him. We didn’t bowl together for the rest of the day. Matteo attempted a secret wink at me that was a silent “thank you!” for letting his brother know whats up! He was more satisfied than me with calling his brother out I think.

After a few successful rounds of Guess Who it was time for lunch. Nana put together some vegetable pasta (she must have cooked over a pound of pasta!) and actually joined us to eat. I took a shower before lunch so when I came out to the table she had already served all three of us kids a “nanu serving” of pasta! A normal sized dinner plate filled to the edges! After we all finished she was trying to make me eat more. I told her it was impossible. She always makes me over eat! Even later this afternoon when the kids had a snack of ricotta on sliced bread with jam. She asked if I wanted a piece so I said sure but only a small one. She put her bread-knived hand to her hip and shook the loaf of bread at me telling me that I either finished the ricotta or didn’t have any. She is so bossy! I did what I was told and played with Matteo in between trying to make him finish his apple.

Today wasn’t so bad since I had the pleasure of taking Tommaso to his swim lesson. We got to leave the house and I got to lounge on the gym couch for an hour of silence, people watching and occasional iPod action. It is sadly occasional since my ear buds are truly finally failing. The sound will only be in one ear and it alternates between nothing and then cracks between each bud. I need to find some new “cuffia” and fast. Hopefully tomorrow I can upgrade the soundtrack to my life at Texa’s going away dinner party. Her boyfriend has all kinds of good music that he is going to share with me! I have to eliminate songs to make room but this will be done tonight!

“Cosa stai facendo?” (what are you doing?) Tommaso asks me while I am painting my nails at the kitchen table. I tell him and he says, “mi piace la puzza!” (which means “I like the stink!”) EW! I tell him that’s gross and he laughs! Crazy glue sniffer! Man, he makes me laugh. Soon as my nails were good and wet my phone beeped and it was a message from Mickey. He tells me that he is going to a beach near Napoli and that he will let me know when he is back in Rome. Lucky. I wanted to go to the beach too but tomorrow will be day 4 indoors. Earlier he wrote me that he thinks that it is me that goes crazy in the house not the boys. I think he might be right. I grabbed my keys so fast when T asked me to do the “latte e vino” run I tripped getting my keys to leave. The weekly milk and wine run is my favorite. I always bring the same purple bag and the cashiers smile and nod knowingly. Two bottles of milk and a good cheap wine. Less than 6 euros is a steal. And a short escape for me before dinner.

When I returned from the store I was putting the milk in the fridge and nana made a comment to T that I couldn’t understand but I knew it was about me! I asked her what she said and T told me not to worry but she pretty much thought that my skirt was too short and when I lean over it gets shorter! I explained that it is because I have a big butt that is why! This skirt is not that short at all either by the way. T laughed and assured me it was fine and told me that a friend of hers always says that she has an ass too but excuses it because it is the “soft” part of her! I am such a hard person sometimes I think I will take that with me. My butt is my softer side alright!?


Posted in: When in Rome