No Call/No Show Low Blow & a Waste of Band Aids…

Posted on July 25, 2011

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Dear Absinthe,

What a weekend…I didn’t know that this drink was going to transform Monday as the new Sunday! It took me two days to recover but it was worth the fun, laughs, 8am pastry run and great company. I came home from Tarquinia on Saturday before noon and did a little shopping. I had a short list of what I was looking for but only crossed off about 2 out of 5 things. I found nail polish and bought some new face scrub. The chick at Sephora was very helpful and wanted to sell me everything but I maintained control and left with only spending 28 euro instead of 53 euro. It was a “nice little Saturday” and I stocked up on some food for the empty fridge for my weekend alone from my short shopping spree. It was nice to be alone and lounge around the empty and silent house. I sent out a few text messages and only one person was fast to respond so that was my plan for the evening. I left around 9:20 and didn’t actually arrive to my destination until over an hour later! I sort of took a glance at my map and made what I imagined “an educated guess” about getting to the other side of the Vatican. It wasn’t as great as I thought and I easily was flustered and considered NOT going out at all and walking back home since the bus issues got my adrenaline pumping. I asked three drivers which way to go to get near a certain metro stop and had to change sides of the street twice! The problem and attitude I gained was because there are only TWO buses that run back and forth on the particular street I was on and I clearly didn’t know what the hell I was doing! Once I got closer I decided to actually take the metro for a short one stop and finally found my friends. “Traveling” is just going out on the town… When we arrived to the nice rooftop to experience Absinthe I realized just how close I was to my house and actually could see where I was at I felt like such a fool! I was SO DAMN close to home I wasted over an hour when I could have just walked my happy ass there and made it in less than 30 minutes! Live and learn. At least the night-turned-into-morning was worth the hangover! Even my cheeks hurt from all the laughing!

Making the cocktails is a process all on its own…you pour a small shot into a glass, then set two cubes of ice (when was the last time that ANYONE has seen cubes of sugar!?) on a fancy spoon that has holes and then pour cold filtered water over the sugar. While the sugar dissolves into the booze it turns a white cloudy color (sadly NOT bright green like in the movie Euro Trip!) and there were no hallucinations or tiny green fairies. There were many laughs and great music on the roof with the three of us and when it was decided that we were to go out to the river after midnight I stumbled when I actually stood up after my two drinks! I got myself together and then we had a last cocktail before heading out that we lit on fire before downing like champions. We walked off some of the liquor and found a nice group of friends from their work and school. We drank gin and then Red Bull vodka (don’t judge me! I knew the repercussions and I did it anyways!) I could not stop checking my phone after midnight for the expected message from Mickey and it never came…I was a little irked but didn’t let it ruin my adventure. He never sent me nothing so I continued to stay out with the group all night long. Early morning drunken “fat kid pastry run?” Check. Invite random strangers up to the roof for absinthe for breakfast. Check. Watch one dude fall asleep sitting in chair. Check. Talk about burning man? Check. Metro at 6am? Check. Nothing like blending in with people whom are also trashed/still trashed from the night before and then the hard-working folk on their way to make a living smiling and judging. I wish that I had packed my sunglasses…I put them in my purse and then took them out since I assumed that I would be picked up and taken home.

Once home I couldn’t wait to shut out the world, pull the blinds, get into bed and hope to not be hung over. I woke up Sunday at 2:30 in the afternoon and chugged water. My head hurt more from the sugar in the drinks (plus the Red Bull that I have NOT had in over 6 months!) and the drunken “fat kid” sugar donut filled with Nutella and the giant cannoli I devoured like it was my last meal! I tried to get it together all day and felt exhausted and had pasta and eggs for breakfast/late lunch (my weak version of carbonara on a less than nothing in the fridge attempt!) then tried to drink a little vino to ease my pain. Not only my head ached but I was still bitter about the no call/no show from the night before. Around 4pm I decided to just call him since I knew that he was on his way to work. No answer. But then less than 3 minutes later my phone rang and it was him. He invited me out for gelato and maybe a late drink with him and his friend and new girlfriend after midnight. I agreed and hoped that I would get my life together and look better than I was feeling in that moment! In the back of my mind I honestly didn’t want to leave the house at all, let alone put on make-up and get all dressed up but by ten I started to come around. I was glad that I didn’t get done up since again he was a no call/no show! I know that I should fire him but I just cannot let him go…it is ridiculous how much I need band aids for tripping over this guy. I fell hard for him and it hurts…a bandaid is not cutting it damnit. I woke up on the couch at almost 2:30 am and was livid angry that he dissed me! I instantly wrote him a nice WTF message and didn’t really hold back. I instantly got a message from him from another number (since he had no credit on his own damn phone! Fuckin’ Italian phones are pure bullshit and you must hope that a person is as honest and you are when it comes to “why didn’t you call!?”) He didn’t even have an apology anywhere in the message which made me even more mad so I went to bed alone and angry at 3 am. He is like a terrible habit that I need to break and I am hopeless and lost control. That is exactly my problem: I am used to control and I have none with him. I don’t know what to do, what to think and how to get past him. It is a work in progress and I feel like my heart is twisting and I am much too vulnerable for my own good. I know that “whatever happens will happen” but I just want to know it all RIGHT NOW and that is not possible. One day at a time…

Once the family arrived home I ran down to help them unload the car. Filled to the MAX! It took a while to get everything out of the car, to the tiny elevator, then upstairs, THEN unpacked! I am happy that they are home I think that I was missing them more than I knew. We had a nice dinner and caught up about our weekends. I even watched cartoons while they were away! I wanted to let S know that I truly enjoyed the time that I got to spend with his parents in Tarquinia. They are the sweetest old Italian couple and I am just glad that they enjoyed me just as much! Their 55 year anniversary is coming up next year and his father will also be turning 80! I told him that if they invited me to the big bash that I would come back in a heartbeat! We also talked about what this week was looking like and their next trip for the last weekend of this month. Looks like I will have another long weekend alone and have another Monday turned Sunday since they return on a Tuesday…I look forward to it but I best make some plans or else I will be recovering on the couch again since I didn’t make plans! I am not going to forget that Mickey was going to try to have a weekend with me during this time but I am NOT getting my hopes up and then watching them get crushed. We will see what happens. I might make a little trip to the beach, maybe take a train somewhere…who knows! Like I always say, “I never know what I am doing until I am doing it!”

Nancie

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Posted in: When in Rome