Liver Damage & Pulling an Emergency Break…

Posted on August 14, 2011


Dear “Couchside”,

I was very much dedicated to the couch and TV when I went home to Rome for a few days! I was like a wild nocturnal animal ready to party all night but come daytime? Couch, bed, kitchen, couch and laptop…I succeeded in many things and also failed just as many. Possible more fails than wins these wild three days…

So the bad news is that I missed my train home Saturday since I threw up!! YES. Me. I never throw up but after only three drinks and a stumble home (and missed my bus stop by FIVE stops) it was a rough recovery. Sadly, I missed the tour of the castle here in Celano that I wanted to see since winter AND I missed the free horse ride with T’s cousin. Stupid Spritz and GodMother…I think the going out two consecutive nights just got to me. Came home at 6am Thursday then 5am Friday? Not like me at all but it is considered my “last free weekend” before Sardegna and then back to Tarquinia so I went “all out!” I know that mixing drinks is a recipe for failure but I did it to myself!

Thursday highlights: Got kicked out of a bar for getting in the pool with clothes on. Drank a bottle of wine on the bridge. I love that it is totally normal and acceptable to drink outside in the public. Hell, you could even ask a police officer for a bottle opener and they would be glad to assist you in your alcoholism! We took shots of disgusting tequila, smoked some Black & Mild cigars with some hot-shot (they thought they were!) military guys from Vegas. They were besides themself that not only I was from “their” state but that I knew what a Black & Mild was! Dorks. After we got kicked out the bar we went to find another bar but everything was closed! We finally found an open bar and ordered “nothing sweet!” drinks at 4am and learned that the barista was actually “F-ing with the Americans” and gave us some worse than the tequila mad mix of gin and compari and some other unfortunate surprise liquor. It was so bad we did not even drink them at all. Those of you that know me…I am a professional complainer when it comes to food and drinks and I have no problem telling someone that something sucks and that I want a new one. Better yet, I am never afraid to say the 7 words that waiters hate, “I want to speak to your manager!” Here in Rome not only am I not that good at speaking Italian in general but even when I am with people who DO speak Italian… you just DON’T send stuff back. You pay for it and get something else!? Blasphemy! When my nana used to say, “shut up and eat” I think it is deep-rooted back to Italy; not just from her family in particular! “Oh shuddup” with the slight wave of the right hand and the other with a Marlboro Light she would tell us for everything: not just food and drink.

I knew that Friday I had to get it together and meet Miss Ford so I dressed up real nice with a dress and heeled boots. I have to look smokin’ when I feel like absolute CRAP…then people don’t really know how I feel. It is a good tactic and trick when you are forced to go out or promise anyone to meet up. I don’t break promises so I stomped my ass down to meet her and we went at it like it was the last day cocktails were legal in Rome. I only had a few drinks, less than Thursday but the fact that I mixed them up and drank too fast with her is why I felt like Hell’s Husband came to visit me the next day. Once I finally caught my night bus at 4:30 am I was distracted by my new camera and the photos of the night and MISSED my stop by FIVE stops!! We already walked for many miles (not kidding) so I had to walk another half mile or more back to my house at 5am…stomping in my heels feeling the wrath of the GodMother cocktail. A GodMother, if we need reminding, is half vodka and half Disaranno or amaretto (almond liquor). Killer adult cream soda is what it tastes like. Strong as you can imagine since every time that we order it the glass seems to be larger…! Sometimes a splash of soda lightens it up but no matter what it is still 100% alcohol and strong booze so one is all you need! The end of the night Miss Ford and I always, always, will always have this drink together so I go into this willingly. As does she and always we complain the next day about a “little sugar” headache along with the booze repercussionsnto our body! She missed her train home Saturday and I missed mine as well. But we were both too torn up to even meet for gelato. I never left the house and was couchside with water ALL day long. I had some healthy food that I eat when I am feeling normal but there is NOTHING appealing about bitter rocket lettuce, eggplant or zucchini if you are in recovery from a long night of trashing your liver. I ate one packet of crackers and water and one glass of wine. Pretty much that is it. I tried to make some rice but it was not awesome so had to throw it away.

It was one of those days that you cannot wait for tomorrow to arrive so that you feel “normal” again! I have only had a total of three of these days here in Rome and I have to say that this was the worst one and gladly..the LAST one…I hope! I cleaned up the kitchen and rushed to leave the house by one to make my train around 2 today. Of course when I arrive the train is delayed until 2:33..then 2:43…then 3 it finally departed from the station. I had some multi-grain Pringles, a Mr. Cotto panino and a citrus Powerade to revive me…it was my first real meal at 3pm after my rough Saturday! Then I got a message from T telling me to take the 4:30 train not ARRIVE at 4:30! I was already in route so I waited at the station for about an hour, read my book and people watched Celano. OH! When I finally arrived to Celano I had to pull the EMERGENCY handle to the door to actually get out of the train since some reason I was special and could not open the door!!! I think the conductor was a little irritated with me since it is a loud beeping the everyone in the entire train is aware of…oops! I had to GET OFF and I was not going to end up in the next city and have to be picked up even farther! They already had to drive 30 minutes to get my ass…yeah…what a weekend.

When I walked into the door there were many “Lexie! Lexie! LOOK! Lexie”‘s from the kids and I have to say that I was very happy to see them too! Tommaso even told me, “I love you!” I felt like in that movie “The Nanny Diaries” I didn’t know what to do! I love these kids though, I know that I do. It is strange to think when I have to leave but I am just happy that I know that we will stay connected! Via Skype and I plan to come through Italy a few times so they won’t disappear from me at least. The person that did disappear is Mickey. I told him that I was coming to Rome only for a few days when he called me on Wednesday (his only day off and I was here in the mountains) and he did not try to reach me AT ALL so it is clear: it is over. Finally. I am ready to complain about someone new…no those are not the right words. I think the right words are that I am finished complaining about him.


Posted in: When in Rome