The Biggest Little City…

Posted on December 20, 2011


Dear Reno,

Last year at this time I felt like, “what the hell am I doing?!” Now..many months later I back in the states I am feeling,” what the hell am I NOT doing?” It has been a more strange transition being back in the States than adjusting to a foreign country. Sadly, once again I feel lost in translation but I am in my own hometown. Don’t get me wrong…I love and missed my family dearly but the loss I feel from saying goodbye to my Italian family has no words. I miss those boys daily and am losing my Italian every single day that I don’t have anyone to speak Italian with. I miss the food. The coffee. The gelato. The people. The streets. The shopping. The clothes. The shoes and boots. The boys. My teacher. The dirty streets and beautiful cars. But most of all…I miss the person that I became in Italy. The person that I found within myself. This person is “missing:” and I am unsure what to do in this moment. Someone once told me when I arrived home that I would never be the same but I would slowly learn how to adjust back to this side of the world. When?? I am at such a loss and stuck in a  feeling of displacement. I am positive that in time I will learn to readjust but for now….I will just dream. Dream about the life that I lived and how to get back to that feeling without having to travel for two days. What I did will never be forgotten and I truly want to share the “true” story with an audience. In time…People will know and love my story. I will get to make people laugh once more and find that creative outlet once again. Until then I will let winter take me and always keep smiling. That is all I can do. And at least make a new commitment to write once more…


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